This thing of darkness I acknowlege mine. There is nothing more confining than the prison we don't know we are in.


William Shakespeare




















Denial is pushing something out of your awareness. Anything you hide in the basement has a way of burrowing under the house and showing up on the front lawn.

Howard Sasportas






















The most common form of despair is not being who you are.


Kirkegaard












Who Told The Shadow Self

It Could Be In Control?



How did get in control...?

The biggest obstacle in life is ourselves. We would rather live in denial wearing our rose colored glasses than take the action to get out of the way! I wonder what it is within us that is so afraid to honestly look at ourselves? Why do we settle for less? We think it is normal and acceptable to watch gruesome horror movies, fixate on gossip, and be addicted to sensationalize news! But honestly looking and acknowledging our true authentic self paralyzes us. Its easier to blame than be responsible. The possibility to really have it all is downright terrifying! What is the root of this malaise?

The shadow self is what sabotages our relationships, jobs, it denies our spirit, keeps us from realizing our destiny and dreams. It is what we sweep under the rug. It gets buried and repressed into our deep unconscious self. The shadow is what we don't want to be. It seems so horrible and grotesque feeding into our greatest fear that someone might discover our dark shameful secret --- further repressing it. Hiding what's inside gives it power, because we don't have the power to chose --- we just react. It is the voice that says we are unloved, undeserving, unworthy, keeping us from what we want or desire. It shows itself through our projection of judgements on others. What we don't own about ourselves we project onto other people. It is the only way to get our attention. terrified of discover the ego disowns it and uses the tool of judgement to protect itself --- but only prevents self realization. When you don't own an aspect of your life --- it runs your life.

Imagine that your body has electrical outlets all through it. Each outlet represents a different quality. The qualities we acknowledge and embrace have childproof covers over them. They are safe because there is no way to plug into them. But the qualities we don't own have an electrical charge. So when someone comes along with the qualities of that outlet --- they just plug right on into us. The jolt in voltage is a signal to arm for confrontation. So what we deny, resent, reject, or project ---we magnetize right to us. We are pathological liars when it comes to looking at our internal feelings. Since we can't find the offending quality within then the only way we can see that qualities is in others. So if you feel uncomfortable to express your anger, you are going to attract a whole lot of angry people in your life, to do it for you!

Other people mirror back our hidden emotions and feelings. Owning to manifest your full potential you have to claim the parts of yourself that you denied, hidden or given away to others to act out for you. If you keep attracting people with similar qualities or traits in your life it is to show you what aspects you are disowning in yourself. This gives us an opportunity to recognize them and reclaim them.

The pain of our perceived flaws compels us to cover them up. We often over compensate by being the opposite. What we don't want to face often is the drive and motivation to do something different. When we see someone doing something we don't like we get angry at them, and judge them as bad. But if we really looked and thought about it --- we might discover that we would have the same reaction. Discovering this compassionate empathy for the person releases our judgement. We understand how the negative trait served to be a positive gift.

Each part you don't like has a gift to give you and is appropriate in certain situations. When we embrace a quality within ourselves then people with the same quality can no longer plug into us. This frees them to experience you, and you are free to experience them. To truly love self you must get your negative emotions out. If we own hate and evil in ourselves we wouldn't need to project it onto another person. Compassion heals and reveals our true essence to evolve Spirit In Action!

Oprah Winfrey said "Instead of holding on to resentments learn from them. Turn wounds into wisdom. See how the wounds have benefited you. Where they lead you. Who is in your life now if you didn't have that experience. How does holding onto the wounds keep you from filling your dreams?"



Journal Work:


Make a list to expose your hidden aspects:





Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

  • 1. What are you most afraid of?
  • 2. What are you afraid someone else might see or find out about you?
  • 3. What are you afraid of finding out about yourself?
  • 4. People you dislike and what they do that gets you angry?
  • 5. People you admire and the qualities they inspire in you to emulate?



It can be an intense experience to unveil the truth hidden in the shadow. It is adept at charming your delusions. If the chasm seems to deep and dark to venture into alone. Call me if you seek assistance.

Private phone sessions 512-462-9993 Deborah Eidson